worrying or being alive, both
this morning, sitting. sitting meditation. jon kabat-zinn recently said, while in copenhagen, why not take the 'meditation' out and just let it be named sitting?
because that is what we do. sit with whatever is, this moment.
this morning it was rain. an almost silent blanket of rain. the earth and plants and flowers receptive. was i receptive to the precious moment of sitting still, perhaps the only moments, minutes today with nothing but quiet observation of the mind, heart and body?
noticing how my thoughts wander to worrying. to the, actually quite few, things in my life that cause insecurity and a low-grade sadness this minute, this small speck of eternity.
thoughts come to mind about how some of us have brains and emotions that through life-experience have been wired towards keeping an eye on our environment, noticing what comes next and where the moment-by-moment observation has had a grain of fear and worrying in its mix.
feeling this morning, this moment as i sit, that i can let it go.
that it is an option to let it go on the next exhale. there is always the next exhale, which offers more spaciousness and freedom, if we choose to. that offers being alive to this moment, allowing the worrying to subside a bit into the background, allows us to live and breathe in the midst of it all.